Selling your soul

This week I have mostly been pulling my teeth out with my bare hands. Also known as listing stuff on Ebay. Dear Lord I hate doing that! I put it off until I have a clothes mountain that would make Oxfam weep, and such a time as I have 24 hours free to sit in front of the computer giving multiple pairs of skinny jeans the hard-sell. The world of Ebay is a strange one. Sometimes you can sit and watch, whooping, as some random secondhand item you're selling gets bid twice what you originally pay for it, and hotdang that's when you could drop everything and marry the blessed site. And yet other times, a pair of jeans that cost you £45 go to some jammy bugger for 99p, and you just know they're sitting behind their laptop cackling like a witch and rubbing their hands in glee. Which is why, as I'm wrapping their item up for posting, I'm cursing them and sending vibes that my beloved jeans won't even go past their knees. Of course, when the jeans are on the other leg (to mix your metaphors) and I'm the new owner of a designer jumper for the grand sum of £1.20, do I feel an ounce of sympathy for the poor soul who is willing me to get trapped in a sleeve and starve to death? Of course I don't!

The whole Ebay experience can be on a par with gambling. Seriously. The timing is everything; never put an item on so the auction finishes on a Friday or Saturday night. Even Monday evenings are risky, as people get too wrapped up in the soaps and forget they were watching your tshirt. And don't list an item for 10 days, that's just silly. Even 7 days and you lose the excitement of the countdown. That last 24 hours, when the item end time goes red! Ooh, sends a shiver down my spine that does. The thrill of having 14 people watching your Next flares, and pressing F5 every five seconds to see if anyone else has bid is a buzz like no other. *REFRESH*REFRESH*REFRESH*BID DAMMIT!*REFRESH*REFRESH*REFRESH*

The pleasure of having made a few quid from selling stuff you always intended on wearing but never did, however, is soon gone when you get your invoice from Ebay for the items you listed, and realise you've made about £3 profit. In fact, next time I think I'll donate my clothes mountain to the charidee shop and go and buy a scratchcard on the way home!