Sunday, 22 July 2012

Skool's out

The 6 weeks holidays are here, stretching out before me like a sentence for non payment of Council tax. We're two days in; both children are still alive and I haven't become totally alcohol dependant, which I suppose I have to call a result. And the sun has come out! As though God himself has been so pleased with The Daughter behaving herself through a whole school years worth of twice-weekly Worship that he has decided to bless us with some decent weather. And my goodness me aren't we grateful for it! At Asda yesterday I could see the management seething as they'd reduced all the barbecue and outdoor stuff to half price , having decided Autumn was already on it's way. I took advantage of this and purchased some flowers and compost to replant all the plants that the insane amount of rain killed off - plants for £1 and compost 50p! Supermarket 0 - Thrifty consumer - 1!While I was fondling some melons down the fruit aisle, two men who obviously knew together bumped into each other and the manly greetings commenced. "Ey'up!", "Alright mate, are these yours?" (pointing to two small children in the trolley seats) "Yeah, worse luck hurhurhur". Missed a pearler of an opportunity there! He could have said "Fook me! Where did these come from?!" or "No, I found them outside" or even "No, I like to bring underpriveleged children shopping and point out the things they'll probably never have". I also saw a woman with a banana tattooed on her left breast. At least I think it was a banana. It might have been a sunshine or a flower at some point before things started heading south.

On the lookout for gardeny-type stuff, I went to Ikea today, hoping to find some cheap patio furniture and some plant pots. What I actually came back with was a piece of white plinth to go under the kitchen cupboards, 3 packets of sweets, an enormous box of biscuits, a toy rat and some door knobs called 'GROGGY'. A fruitful visit then, all in all. I bloody love Ikea. If it didn't cost me about £100 in petrol to get there (it's only about 10 miles as well!) I'd be there every week, if only for the hotdog and drink you can get for £1.10 at the cafe. A bit of a false economy but hey ho.

I have finally finished all the decorating so I guess I'm ready to start enjoying (enjoying - is that really the right word?) the holidays now. We have a few play dates planned,  a few days out in the pipeline and more toys in the back garden than you can shake a stick at. So keep your fingers crossed it's all enough to keep the Childbeasts occupied and that the sunshine lasts more than a week! All that remains, I guess, is to post gifts of earplugs through all of the neighbours letterboxes along with a warning about the above average noise levels. Welcome to the summer!

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