Well, we are but a few days away from the birth of our Lord, if you're a religious person (or the birth of Santa, if you're my three year old) and yes, finally, I'm feeling rather festive. The tree and decorations are up - despite the best efforts of the cats, all the presents are wrapped and the food shopping is done. None of it has gone smoothly though, as is to be expected; this is me after all! I thought I was being clever, buying a 'slim' tree, as space in our lounge is quite limited. Slim is definately the word - it's 7ft tall with the circumference of my waist. On first glance it's ok, but look at it too long and it's just a long twig with tinsel on. As for the wrapping, I ran out of sellotape with just a few to go and had to use brown parcel tape (sorry kids, Santa went to the Co-Op but refused to pay four quid when all he had left to wrap was a pack of hair bobbles and a tube of Smarties). It's The Daughter's fault I ran out anyway; her and her obsession with wrapping anything and everything up as 'gifts' for people. Over the last week I've been presented with parcels of Hama Beads, one of the cat's toys, a coaster and half of her Sylvanian families. It was sweet the first few times but kind of lost it's charm after the hundredth unwrapping of a bottle top. Especially as each 'gift' was given wth the words "I want it back"!
As for the food shopping, that went as expected. I joined the queue to get in Sainsbury's, the queues to pick stuff off the shelves in Sainsbury's, the queue to pay for stuff in Sainsbury's and the queue to get out of the carpark at Sainsbury's. I could have cried as I handed over my debit card - both at how much I'd spent on festive filth, and at the thought of how fat I'm going to get eating it all. And then I got home and realised I'd forgotten sausage rolls. Never mind your 'onion bhaji dippers' and your 'tempura king prawns with sweet chili and glitter dip' - a self respecting buffet isn't a buffet without sausage rolls.
I've had my festive illness (tonsilitis this year). I've bought the cats their present (Dreamies). The kids have some new festive pyjamas. And I've bought Santa a bottle of Stella and some maltesers. So I think we're good to go. Before I know it, it'll all be over and I'll be settling down with a selection box and some onion bhaji dippers to watch the demise of Derek Branning (I know Kat Slater is a bit of a grubber, but Derek Branning, seriously? He looks like a balloon with a slow leak!!) and festive versions of family favourites that were filmed in August. I shall see you on the other side - with a waist significantly bigger than our skinny tree and a desperate urge to take the decorations down so I can dust properly. Happy Christmas everyone Xxx!!