Carols from St Bob's Cathedral

(To the tune of 'Away in a manger')

Away in a manger, (well, his Digger bed),
My little lad Charlie laid down his sweet head.
Next door in her boudoir, his sister did sleep,
her head filled with dreams of the haul she would reap.

T'was the eve before Christmas, and the lounge was packed
Of stockings and giftbags and presents in sacks.
The kids had been spoiled, with toys by the tonne.
The cats had a present, the guinea pigs had none.

In the morning so early my children did wake.
The Daughter so excited her hands they did shake.
Like tiny tornadoes they ripped through their stuff,
for goodness sake kids - is 5 sacks not enough?!

Completely spolit rotten, those two kids of mine!
Those hours spent wrapping, that effort and time!
And all of it done with in less than an hour,
no sooner had they finished, the mood it turned sour.

The kids they were rowing, the tears they did flow.
All of us stuck in with nowhere to go.
When dinner was ready we sat down to eat,
"But I don't like roast dinner!" the Daughter did bleat.

Two dinners went untouched, two plates full intact.
The veg went to the dustbin, the turkey to the cats.
I knew what was coming, my time I did bide,
as it got to half two and "I'm hungry!" they cried.

As day turned to evening, the mood got more light,
knowing the kids would soon retire for the night.
Christmas is stressful, no doubt about that,
there wouldn't be this headache if we just had the cats!

They say that Christmas is a time for good cheer,
Well I say good riddance - and roll on New Year!!