Tuesday, 20 November 2012

I'm a 'celebrity'...get me a career revival!

Most reality tv bores the bellybutton fluff out of me. I stopped watching 'Big Brother' years ago, mainly because watching a houseful of ego's with enough talent between them to fill a thimble is about as much a form of entertainment as picking the hard skin off my feet. The so called 'celebrity' version of it is no better, and is cringeworthy for all the wrong reasons. But once a year, I make an exception. The hilarious Geordie munchkins Ant'n'Dec (think I've finally grasped which is which thanks to Ant always standing on the left, like his name-see!) bring some sunshine into the dark winter days in the form of 'I'm a Celebrity - get me out of here!'. I bloody love it! Whoever thought of it is a genius. Even The Husband, who doesn't watch crap like that, sits down and says "I'll just watch this bit and then I'll go and wash the pots" and is still there an hour later.

Taking a mixed bag of  (mostly) famous, privileged people into the middle of the hot, humid, creepy-crawly filled (and I know - I've been) Australian rainforest is brilliant viewing and I never tire of it. Granted, there are a few no-marks on that programme too, but there's nothing like having to crap in a hole in the ground and eating possums bumholes in order to eat to level the playing field! There are a couple of them in this year who I've no idea about. The lanky posh bloke with legs like knotted string is from another reality show, so I'm clueless about him. And the female mp means nothing to me, other than she looks a bit like Bianca's mum Carol in Eastenders. I didn't know much about David Haye either, but I now know is a thoroughly nice man. With the abs of a superhero and buttocks like two hardboiled eggs in clingfilm. Limahl ("from the 80's" he said, like he'd just arrived in a time machine) is literally the most boring man ever to walk the earth. Everything about him makes me want to take a nap. But Helen Flanagan - her what was Rosie off of Corrie before she left to become a full time WAG - is hilarious. Mostly unintentionally. She was made for programmes like this - the public cruelly voting her in for every bushtucker trial, just to see her shrieking like a big blouse and failing miserably. Despite looking like a tramp and smelling like dirty bums, she's still so aware of the cameras on her that she walks round pouting like a fish that's been yanked out the tank.

there isn't a thing I don't like about this programme. Even when I'm dry heaving along with the eating trials, I love it. I get somewhat disappointed when some of them are ruled out of trials on 'medical grounds' (which is a nice way of saying they're too old or fat), but then you get a classic televisual moment like Rosemary Shrager trumping in Limahls face when they'd only been acquainted for about ten minutes. Brilliant. And the best thing of all? Knowing that there will always be a constant stream of celebs so desperate for cash or airtime that they'll do practically anything. Bring it on!

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