This weekend is the Queen's 60th Jubilee, when most people get to spend an extra day off work queuing in Asda or visiting the DFS 'extra-20%-off-the-already-half-price-sale-that-must-end-Tuesday-but-starts-again-on-Wednesday' sale. This weekend has cost us a fortune so far. On Friday The Daughter had Jubilee celebrations at school, which involved Mummy having to buy a Queen's costume, stuff to make and decorate a crown, and a special Jubilee cupcake that we were meant to make at home. Many thanks to Greggs for doing such a good job for me though, and after a morning of The Daughter swinging her lunchbag about, it certainly looked home-made!
Today we had our first full day out as a family (The Boychild has had an afternoon sleep until recently, rather limiting our outings), and having winced our way through the prices of possible places (HOW MUCH to queue all day for slow-ass rides at Gullivers Kingdom?!) we finally settled on Crich Tramway musuem, especially as they were holding special Jubilee celebrations. After joining the rest of the Midlands at Asda to buy some travel sickness tablets for The Boychild (who gets carsick as soon as you start the engine), we set out. The journey was punctuated by The Husband pronouncing it 'Cr-itch' and then trying to make out it was a joke, followed by a bit of banter and then a row when he wasn't concentrating on the road and nearly knocked over a 100 year old stone monument.
Both the Childbeasts were impeccably behaved all morning, absolutely loving the Trams and not mithering for sweets. After lunch we went to watch a Punch and Judy show which was, err...interesting. All the kids absolutely loved it, but as Mr Punch started smacking Judy with a stick, and then Judy started smacking Mr Punch with a stick, and then the Policeman came and started smacking them both with a stick, all the parents began exchanging concerned glances and the man next to me whispered to his wife "This isn't very pc is it?!". Luckily the kids took it at face value, and Mummy didn't have to answer any awkward questions about police brutality. It was afternoon when the tiredness kicked in, The Daughter started her constant nagging for treats and The Boychild began to throw himself down on the floor screeching whenever we told him "No". Which wasn't embarrassing at all. So we decided it was hometime, after stopping at George's Tradition (the best fish and chips in the World) for tea, where The Boychild threw beans everywhere and waved his bean-covered hands at all the elderly women, making their shrivelled up wombs contract with joy.
Although we still have one more day of the Bank holiday left, tomorrow will be a Jubilee free day. Ok, it will be allowed as long as it doesn't involve me spending any more money. I think I'll go to the gym, I should be able to avoid handing over any cash in there. Although, I'd happily pay to see what happened on Saturday morning again. I was on the treadmill, half watching QVC and half listening to Boring FM (you have no idea how hard it is trying to work out to Richard Marx and Barry White) when someone switched channel and 'LMFAO's' "Sexy and I know it" came on. Watching the Muscle Mary's trying desperately not to lift their weights and grunt in time to the music, and everyone else exchanging smirks at them was worth the monthly fee alone. All I need is for them to be dressed in Union Jack lycra shorts tomorrow, and my life will be complete!